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Dismay after day nursery ‘goes bust’
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| CLOSED: Amethyst Day Nursery in Somerford, Christchurch has ceased trading. Picture: Sally Adams. ID:7253108 |
A POPULAR day nursery in Christchurch has closed suddenly, leaving many parents without childcare and staff jobless.
Unpaid fees and mounting debts have been blamed for the shock closure.
More than 25 parents turned up at Amethyst Day Nursery on Tuesday morning to drop off their children but were shocked to discover the team of staff standing outside and the doors to the centre locked up.
A notice posted on the door of the lottery-funded SureStart nursery said: "The Nursery has gone bust, due in the major part to the outstanding fees, in excess of £24,000.
"Under legislation once a company has become insolvent it must cease trading with immediate effect.
"Every avenue has been explored but unfortunately no help was available."
Dad Robert Thomas, whose five-year-old daughter, Luca-Rose, has been attending the nursery for three years, said: "I felt really bad for the staff who were oblivious to the situation and have not been paid for all their efforts. All of them are great with the kids.
"But they obviously hadn't been told anything about what had happened and were just left to cope with the fallout. The thing is we've paid our fees up front. I can't see us getting anything back though."
And Karen Robinson, mum of two-year-old twins said: "There was no indication there were any problems with the nursery. We haven't been told anything, only the little information the staff knew.
"I'm a teacher so was a little panic-stricken about what we would do next week but luckily we've managed to get them into the Little Explorers nursery across the road. Others might not be so lucky though."
A Dorset County Council spokesman said the council had received an email from the nursery confirming it had closed.
The spokesman said: "We would advise that if any parents are having difficulty finding nursery places for their children they should contact the Dorset Family Information Service and we can help them find a place. Nobody should find themselves without a place."
7:10pm Thursday 28th August 2008
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CommentPosted by: derek, dorset on 12:01am Fri 29 Aug 08
I have very little respect for people who have kids then pay for them to be minded when they return to work.
They are your kids , stay at home , enjoy learn and grow with them . It is much better than the latest pair of trainers or living the dream in a box semi.
And yes either the dad or the mum should stay at home , but sub contract parenthood .... never
I have very little respect for people who have kids then pay for them to be minded when they return to work.
They are your kids , stay at home , enjoy learn and grow with them . It is much better than the latest pair of trainers or living the dream in a box semi.
And yes either the dad or the mum should stay at home , but sub contract parenthood .... never
Posted by: tam, bournemouth on 6:48am Fri 29 Aug 08
[quote][bold]derek[/bold] wrote:
I have very little respect for people who have kids then pay for them to be minded when they return to work. They are your kids , stay at home , enjoy learn and grow with them . It is much better than the latest pair of trainers or living the dream in a box semi. And yes either the dad or the mum should stay at home , but sub contract parenthood .... never [/quote] What a narrow minded and old fashioned little man you must be. You seem to be forgetting something - this isn't an ideal world! If it was then that's exactly what 90% of people would be doing is staying at home and looking after their own children. Some of us want a better world for our kids so have to work to be able to feed them etc. Go and re-burrow your head in the sand!
derek wrote:
I have very little respect for people who have kids then pay for them to be minded when they return to work. They are your kids , stay at home , enjoy learn and grow with them . It is much better than the latest pair of trainers or living the dream in a box semi. And yes either the dad or the mum should stay at home , but sub contract parenthood .... never
What a narrow minded and old fashioned little man you must be. You seem to be forgetting something - this isn't an ideal world! If it was then that's exactly what 90% of people would be doing is staying at home and looking after their own children. Some of us want a better world for our kids so have to work to be able to feed them etc. Go and re-burrow your head in the sand!
Posted by: philly, bournemouth on 7:49am Fri 29 Aug 08
I agree with derek - they say its all about having choices. Some people do not have the choice. And if you 'choose' to behave like a real parent and raise your own children you are regarded as a second class citizen. I have looked after, worked with and have my own children and after many years, I can say that I see the difference in the children whose parents grab every piece of childcare going, and the children who are looked after by their parents. And in the end, as in this case, it is all about the money. You can have all the money in the world, but with a child who is pretty much a stranger, it cant be much fun.
I agree with derek - they say its all about having choices. Some people do not have the choice. And if you 'choose' to behave like a real parent and raise your own children you are regarded as a second class citizen. I have looked after, worked with and have my own children and after many years, I can say that I see the difference in the children whose parents grab every piece of childcare going, and the children who are looked after by their parents. And in the end, as in this case, it is all about the money. You can have all the money in the world, but with a child who is pretty much a stranger, it cant be much fun.
Posted by: fedupwithjobsworths, Moordown on 11:17am Fri 29 Aug 08
I must also be old fashioned as I agree with Derek. I just wonder how many of our modern day problems are caused by parents not having the time to look after and talk to their own childen.
I must also be old fashioned as I agree with Derek. I just wonder how many of our modern day problems are caused by parents not having the time to look after and talk to their own childen.
Posted by: Bimht, sherborne on 11:34am Fri 29 Aug 08
...Derek...and if you're a single parent who needs to work?...would you rather that they lived off the state?
...Derek...and if you're a single parent who needs to work?...would you rather that they lived off the state?
Posted by: philly, bournemouth on 12:47pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Just a thought.....Spoke to an old work colleague today. She looks after other peoples children while they do whatever they do. She has had real problems placating frightened little ones when the big planes have been going over head and she's dreading the Red Arrows!! She is also trying to help the non frightened ones learn about the different aircraft by doing projects with pictures etc. What a pity the parents aren't around to a) placate their frightened children and b) to pass on valuable experience of a little bit of our history! And Bimht - Yes! Until old enough to be a little independent! That is what the state is there for if you find yourself in a position of needing to look after your children alone. Its only for a few years out of their whole lifetimes that makes them the adults they are going to be - I for one want mine to feel safe, secure & loved.
Just a thought.....Spoke to an old work colleague today. She looks after other peoples children while they do whatever they do. She has had real problems placating frightened little ones when the big planes have been going over head and she's dreading the Red Arrows!! She is also trying to help the non frightened ones learn about the different aircraft by doing projects with pictures etc. What a pity the parents aren't around to a) placate their frightened children and b) to pass on valuable experience of a little bit of our history! And Bimht - Yes! Until old enough to be a little independent! That is what the state is there for if you find yourself in a position of needing to look after your children alone. Its only for a few years out of their whole lifetimes that makes them the adults they are going to be - I for one want mine to feel safe, secure & loved.
Posted by: fedupwithjobsworths, Moordown on 1:15pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Spot on philly!
Posted by: bobbins, Christchurch on 1:32pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Whether they are cared for by parents or art a nursery we can but hope they don't turn out as narrow minded and offensive as the likes of philly, fedupwithjobsworth and derek. Those oh so perfect parents
Whether they are cared for by parents or art a nursery we can but hope they don't turn out as narrow minded and offensive as the likes of philly, fedupwithjobsworth and derek. Those oh so perfect parents
Posted by: laurie marsh, australia on 1:44pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Tam is right, it is not an ideal world but it is like everthing else, if you cant afford it, dont get it!
There are exceptions of course but just look at the no. of childcare centres that there are!
All of those kids need a full time parent to guide them through those early years!
Tam is right, it is not an ideal world but it is like everthing else, if you cant afford it, dont get it!
There are exceptions of course but just look at the no. of childcare centres that there are!
All of those kids need a full time parent to guide them through those early years!
Posted by: laurie marsh, australia on 1:53pm Fri 29 Aug 08
bobbins,
Take a look at what you just wrote!
Is it offensive and narrow minded to expect people to look after their own families?
No parent is perfect but you obviously dont even come close if you believe that!
Litte kids need nurturing not dumping!
bobbins,
Take a look at what you just wrote!
Is it offensive and narrow minded to expect people to look after their own families?
No parent is perfect but you obviously dont even come close if you believe that!
Litte kids need nurturing not dumping!
Posted by: JoJo, Poole on 2:02pm Fri 29 Aug 08
I'm fed up with all this backlash because some families (ours included) decide to be decent hard working folk not sponging, defrauding the government or laying about all day. We don't have a choice, we have to work to pay all the bills, yes our children are looked after while "we do whatever we do", our 8 year old after school and our 2 year old is at nursery. They have so much confidence and they certainly aren't frightened in fact this week while we've been off the older one wants to be at his club because all his friends are there, they get to do amazing activities that we just couldn't do as a family, our 8 year old has recently been on an organised caving trip and the nursery organise trips and events for the littlies as well. Don't preach to people, don't make them feel guilty most of us feel bad enough already (probably because many have heard comments like the ones posted) some parents like us don't have a choice if we want a roof over our children's heads.
I'm fed up with all this backlash because some families (ours included) decide to be decent hard working folk not sponging, defrauding the government or laying about all day. We don't have a choice, we have to work to pay all the bills, yes our children are looked after while "we do whatever we do", our 8 year old after school and our 2 year old is at nursery. They have so much confidence and they certainly aren't frightened in fact this week while we've been off the older one wants to be at his club because all his friends are there, they get to do amazing activities that we just couldn't do as a family, our 8 year old has recently been on an organised caving trip and the nursery organise trips and events for the littlies as well. Don't preach to people, don't make them feel guilty most of us feel bad enough already (probably because many have heard comments like the ones posted) some parents like us don't have a choice if we want a roof over our children's heads.
Posted by: bobbins, Christchurch on 2:18pm Fri 29 Aug 08
[quote][bold]laurie marsh[/bold] wrote:
bobbins, Take a look at what you just wrote! Is it offensive and narrow minded to expect people to look after their own families? No parent is perfect but you obviously dont even come close if you believe that! Litte kids need nurturing not dumping![/quote] Don't dare question my parenting and quit patronising.
"Is it offensive and narrow minded to expect people to look after their own families?"
So now you are suggesting that anyone who takes a choice to work whether it be full time or part time and then has the audacity to pay for and arrange for their children to be looked after in a caring/nurturing and heaven forbid a teaching environment are not looking after their families? They are doing exactly that. Whether someone cares for their family themselves or entrusts others whilst they 'have' to earn a living they are doing exactly that. Looking after their families and neither should be criticised for doing that. Now go and sit in the corner with the other narrow minded sorts.
laurie marsh wrote:
bobbins, Take a look at what you just wrote! Is it offensive and narrow minded to expect people to look after their own families? No parent is perfect but you obviously dont even come close if you believe that! Litte kids need nurturing not dumping!
Don't dare question my parenting and quit patronising.
"Is it offensive and narrow minded to expect people to look after their own families?"
So now you are suggesting that anyone who takes a choice to work whether it be full time or part time and then has the audacity to pay for and arrange for their children to be looked after in a caring/nurturing and heaven forbid a teaching environment are not looking after their families? They are doing exactly that. Whether someone cares for their family themselves or entrusts others whilst they 'have' to earn a living they are doing exactly that. Looking after their families and neither should be criticised for doing that. Now go and sit in the corner with the other narrow minded sorts.
Posted by: laurie marsh, australia on 2:29pm Fri 29 Aug 08
The only patroniser is you!
"Go and sit in the corner"?
Caring/nurturing and teaching?
That is YOUR job!
If you want to give your kids away for someone else to raise the question has to be asked, why did you have them in the first place??
The only patroniser is you!
"Go and sit in the corner"?
Caring/nurturing and teaching?
That is YOUR job!
If you want to give your kids away for someone else to raise the question has to be asked, why did you have them in the first place??
Posted by: bobbins, Christchurch on 2:35pm Fri 29 Aug 08
So I should exclusively care nurture and teach them forever? When should I allow anyone else some input. Please teach me to be a good parent Laurie. you're a shining example.
Why did I have them? For the child benefit and tax credits. Doesn't everyone?
So I should exclusively care nurture and teach them forever? When should I allow anyone else some input. Please teach me to be a good parent Laurie. you're a shining example.
Why did I have them? For the child benefit and tax credits. Doesn't everyone?
Posted by: laurie marsh, australia on 2:57pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Who said forever?
Are you sure that you are mature enough to have children?
Now you ARE being patronised!
Who said forever?
Are you sure that you are mature enough to have children?
Now you ARE being patronised!
Posted by: bobbins, Christchurch on 3:13pm Fri 29 Aug 08
So you can't actually answer the question. Best get back to your 1950's bubble of the stay at home Mum whilst the Father goes to work. Life has moved on, maybe you need to catch up.
So you can't actually answer the question. Best get back to your 1950's bubble of the stay at home Mum whilst the Father goes to work. Life has moved on, maybe you need to catch up.
Posted by: laurie marsh, australia on 3:35pm Fri 29 Aug 08
If you dont know the answer to your own (rather immature) question, maybe the wrong members of your family are in child care!
O.k. read JoJo's comment.
The older one wants to be with his "real" family, they go places!
The 2 year old is at nursery, he doesn't know if he has a family or not!
This is a "home life" for kids?
Where do these unfortunates go to if they have a problem?
It is no good going home, there is no-one there!
So they go to their "paid" parents, who have 10 other kid's problems to worry about as well!
Of course at 5.00 p.m. everything switches back over to the "proper" family life!
People wonder why there are problem kids!
For problem, read confused!
If you dont know the answer to your own (rather immature) question, maybe the wrong members of your family are in child care!
O.k. read JoJo's comment.
The older one wants to be with his "real" family, they go places!
The 2 year old is at nursery, he doesn't know if he has a family or not!
This is a "home life" for kids?
Where do these unfortunates go to if they have a problem?
It is no good going home, there is no-one there!
So they go to their "paid" parents, who have 10 other kid's problems to worry about as well!
Of course at 5.00 p.m. everything switches back over to the "proper" family life!
People wonder why there are problem kids!
For problem, read confused!
Posted by: Pokey, Poole on 4:19pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Unfortunately life isn't that easy! My daughter is 18 months old and has been in childcare since she was 1. I had no choice in the matter as my partner isn't on a great wage. Do you people really think I want to be stuck at a desk and not spending time with my little girl?? Of course I'd rather be with her, but who will pay my rent, bills, petrol and other experiences? Yes I would stay at home if my parnter was earing our joint wage - but he's not, and that's the case with alot of families. And what's the other option - end up with no food on the table, and no roof over our heads - Great parenting!!
Unfortunately life isn't that easy! My daughter is 18 months old and has been in childcare since she was 1. I had no choice in the matter as my partner isn't on a great wage. Do you people really think I want to be stuck at a desk and not spending time with my little girl?? Of course I'd rather be with her, but who will pay my rent, bills, petrol and other experiences? Yes I would stay at home if my parnter was earing our joint wage - but he's not, and that's the case with alot of families. And what's the other option - end up with no food on the table, and no roof over our heads - Great parenting!!
Posted by: bobbins, Christchurch on 4:34pm Fri 29 Aug 08
So in summary laurie - children looked after solely by parents are gods gift to society and no trouble. Children looked after in nursery = reprobates and no doubt in prison by the age of 12.
Glad you can pigeonhole the whoel of society so easily.
I would point you to the Daily Mail website as I think you'd fit in there, but to be honest I think you may already know it quite well
So in summary laurie - children looked after solely by parents are gods gift to society and no trouble. Children looked after in nursery = reprobates and no doubt in prison by the age of 12.
Glad you can pigeonhole the whoel of society so easily.
I would point you to the Daily Mail website as I think you'd fit in there, but to be honest I think you may already know it quite well
Posted by: caspar, Christchurch on 5:56pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Our 3 year old son went to the nursery in question (albeit for 1 1/2 days per week), and greatly enjoyed his time there, making some solid friendships and developing his social skills. He also likes being with mum or dad the rest of the time (he'll get more opportunity for that now!). I don't, however, quite understand how they ended up over 24K in debt as a result of unpaid fees given that we all had to pay monthly in advance or lose the place.
Our 3 year old son went to the nursery in question (albeit for 1 1/2 days per week), and greatly enjoyed his time there, making some solid friendships and developing his social skills. He also likes being with mum or dad the rest of the time (he'll get more opportunity for that now!). I don't, however, quite understand how they ended up over 24K in debt as a result of unpaid fees given that we all had to pay monthly in advance or lose the place.
Posted by: caspar, Christchurch on 6:07pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Our 3 year old son went to the nursery in question (albeit for 1 1/2 days per week), and greatly enjoyed his time there, making some solid friendships and developing his social skills. He also likes being with mum or dad the rest of the time (he'll get more opportunity for that now!). I don't, however, quite understand how they ended up over 24K in debt as a result of unpaid fees given that we all had to pay monthly in advance or lose the place.
Our 3 year old son went to the nursery in question (albeit for 1 1/2 days per week), and greatly enjoyed his time there, making some solid friendships and developing his social skills. He also likes being with mum or dad the rest of the time (he'll get more opportunity for that now!). I don't, however, quite understand how they ended up over 24K in debt as a result of unpaid fees given that we all had to pay monthly in advance or lose the place.
Posted by: fedupwithjobsworths, Moordown on 6:14pm Fri 29 Aug 08
[quote][bold]bobbins[/bold] wrote:
Whether they are cared for by parents or art a nursery we can but hope they don't turn out as narrow minded and offensive as the likes of philly, fedupwithjobsworth and derek. Those oh so perfect parents[/quote] Sorry but I can't see what was offensive or narrow minded about my comment. All I suggested was that some working parents don't spend enough time with their kids.
bobbins wrote:
Whether they are cared for by parents or art a nursery we can but hope they don't turn out as narrow minded and offensive as the likes of philly, fedupwithjobsworth and derek. Those oh so perfect parents
Sorry but I can't see what was offensive or narrow minded about my comment. All I suggested was that some working parents don't spend enough time with their kids.
Posted by: nlm, Wimborne on 6:27pm Fri 29 Aug 08
[quote][bold]Pokey[/bold] wrote:
Unfortunately life isn't that easy! My daughter is 18 months old and has been in childcare since she was 1. I had no choice in the matter as my partner isn't on a great wage. Do you people really think I want to be stuck at a desk and not spending time with my little girl?? Of course I'd rather be with her, but who will pay my rent, bills, petrol and other experiences? Yes I would stay at home if my parnter was earing our joint wage - but he's not, and that's the case with alot of families. And what's the other option - end up with no food on the table, and no roof over our heads - Great parenting!! [/quote] Well said - I wholeheartedly agree. I work part time as we need to financially. I would love to be able to afford not to, but the bills and mortgage need to be paid. On the other side though, my 2 year old daughter loves her days at nursery, and is developing excellent social skills, making friends, and learning additional skills on a daily basis, all of which will stand her in good stead for school and her future. You cannot just judge people for having children and them going to childcare without knowing the individual circumstances.
Pokey wrote:
Unfortunately life isn't that easy! My daughter is 18 months old and has been in childcare since she was 1. I had no choice in the matter as my partner isn't on a great wage. Do you people really think I want to be stuck at a desk and not spending time with my little girl?? Of course I'd rather be with her, but who will pay my rent, bills, petrol and other experiences? Yes I would stay at home if my parnter was earing our joint wage - but he's not, and that's the case with alot of families. And what's the other option - end up with no food on the table, and no roof over our heads - Great parenting!!
Well said - I wholeheartedly agree. I work part time as we need to financially. I would love to be able to afford not to, but the bills and mortgage need to be paid. On the other side though, my 2 year old daughter loves her days at nursery, and is developing excellent social skills, making friends, and learning additional skills on a daily basis, all of which will stand her in good stead for school and her future. You cannot just judge people for having children and them going to childcare without knowing the individual circumstances.
Posted by: caspar, Christchurch on 6:28pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Our 3 year old son went to the nursery in question (albeit for 1 1/2 days per week), and greatly enjoyed his time there, making some solid friendships and developing his social skills. He also likes being with mum or dad the rest of the time (he'll get more opportunity for that now!). I don't, however, quite understand how they ended up over 24K in debt as a result of unpaid fees given that we all had to pay monthly in advance or lose the place.
Our 3 year old son went to the nursery in question (albeit for 1 1/2 days per week), and greatly enjoyed his time there, making some solid friendships and developing his social skills. He also likes being with mum or dad the rest of the time (he'll get more opportunity for that now!). I don't, however, quite understand how they ended up over 24K in debt as a result of unpaid fees given that we all had to pay monthly in advance or lose the place.
Posted by: Charlie on 7:10pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Sorry, but I'm old fashioned. It's either a career or children. Children are a choice, not a right.
Home with mum until the age of 3. One and half days at nursery from 3 to 5 to start formal learning and socialising. Then part-time work only while the children are at school until they are 16. If you can't afford to have children and stay at home - don't have them.
There's no need for anyone to get pregnant accidentally nowadays.
Got fed up when I was teaching, being told by working parents that it was [bold]MY[/bold] job to discipline their children because I was looking after them during the day while they both worked.
One set of parents couldn't understand why their 13 year-old daughter got pregnant when she was at home during the day with her boyfriend during school holidays while both parents worked. Told me it was [bold]my[/bold] fault because the school taught sex edutation.
Sorry, but I'm old fashioned. It's either a career or children. Children are a choice, not a right.
Home with mum until the age of 3. One and half days at nursery from 3 to 5 to start formal learning and socialising. Then part-time work only while the children are at school until they are 16. If you can't afford to have children and stay at home - don't have them.
There's no need for anyone to get pregnant accidentally nowadays.
Got fed up when I was teaching, being told by working parents that it was
MY job to discipline their children because I was looking after them during the day while they both worked.
One set of parents couldn't understand why their 13 year-old daughter got pregnant when she was at home during the day with her boyfriend during school holidays while both parents worked. Told me it was
my fault because the school taught sex edutation.
Posted by: philly, bournemouth on 7:32pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Why do people have children if they cant afford a roof over their heads when they have children? Surely you need to get into a financial position to be able to take a few years off whilst raising your children. Plenty of time for the working and gathering of nice things when the children are independent. All the wonderful things the children do in nursery are perfectly possible to do with parents but the difference is these experiences are gathered as a family.
Why do people have children if they cant afford a roof over their heads when they have children? Surely you need to get into a financial position to be able to take a few years off whilst raising your children. Plenty of time for the working and gathering of nice things when the children are independent. All the wonderful things the children do in nursery are perfectly possible to do with parents but the difference is these experiences are gathered as a family.
Posted by: bobbins, Christchurch on 8:27pm Fri 29 Aug 08
[quote][bold]Charlie[/bold] wrote:
Sorry, but I'm old fashioned. It's either a career or children. Children are a choice, not a right. Home with mum until the age of 3. One and half days at nursery from 3 to 5 to start formal learning and socialising. Then part-time work only while the children are at school until they are 16. If you can't afford to have children and stay at home - don't have them. There's no need for anyone to get pregnant accidentally nowadays. Got fed up when I was teaching, being told by working parents that it was [bold]MY[/bold] job to discipline their children because I was looking after them during the day while they both worked. One set of parents couldn't understand why their 13 year-old daughter got pregnant when she was at home during the day with her boyfriend during school holidays while both parents worked. Told me it was [bold]my[/bold] fault because the school taught sex edutation.[/quote] Are there any particular days that suit you better that the parents should work the 1 1/2 days on in your rigid plan. It also falls apart where you say they should work part time until they are 16, yet somehow the kids are at home getting pregnant whilst parents are at work. You just said that they should be working part time? Or does no child of a stay at home parent ever fall pregnant before 16? Where do you propose all thses part time jobs magically appear from? If you went and had a look you'll see that employers are offering less and less part time work as it costs more than using full time employees. "Then stay at home" will no doubt be your response, then we'll have you on here moaning about benefit scroungers and how pensions aren't enough because we're having to fund all these stay at home slobs etc. Maybe the solution is for all parents to take the traveller route in life, get to stay at home each day with the kids, we could all come and camp near some of your houses. I'm sure you'd allow it as its for the benefit of the kids after all?
Charlie wrote:
Sorry, but I'm old fashioned. It's either a career or children. Children are a choice, not a right. Home with mum until the age of 3. One and half days at nursery from 3 to 5 to start formal learning and socialising. Then part-time work only while the children are at school until they are 16. If you can't afford to have children and stay at home - don't have them. There's no need for anyone to get pregnant accidentally nowadays. Got fed up when I was teaching, being told by working parents that it was MY job to discipline their children because I was looking after them during the day while they both worked. One set of parents couldn't understand why their 13 year-old daughter got pregnant when she was at home during the day with her boyfriend during school holidays while both parents worked. Told me it was my fault because the school taught sex edutation.
Are there any particular days that suit you better that the parents should work the 1 1/2 days on in your rigid plan. It also falls apart where you say they should work part time until they are 16, yet somehow the kids are at home getting pregnant whilst parents are at work. You just said that they should be working part time? Or does no child of a stay at home parent ever fall pregnant before 16? Where do you propose all thses part time jobs magically appear from? If you went and had a look you'll see that employers are offering less and less part time work as it costs more than using full time employees. "Then stay at home" will no doubt be your response, then we'll have you on here moaning about benefit scroungers and how pensions aren't enough because we're having to fund all these stay at home slobs etc. Maybe the solution is for all parents to take the traveller route in life, get to stay at home each day with the kids, we could all come and camp near some of your houses. I'm sure you'd allow it as its for the benefit of the kids after all?
Posted by: another fed up resident, Christchurch on 9:43pm Fri 29 Aug 08
I agree with Derek as well.
Sub Contract parenthood what a great term that sums it up well. I know parents with one child who play the "Mother has to go straight back to work for the benefit of the child" card. Yes - I am always hearing children saying "I'm so glad mummy went back to work to give me a bigger house, two cars, holidays and meals out. Yes of course we need a three bedroom house a spare room is simply a must. Back to basics - there is plenty of time if two parents need to work when the children start school. Of course a little bit of old fashioned making do is required in the meantime.
I agree with Derek as well.
Sub Contract parenthood what a great term that sums it up well. I know parents with one child who play the "Mother has to go straight back to work for the benefit of the child" card. Yes - I am always hearing children saying "I'm so glad mummy went back to work to give me a bigger house, two cars, holidays and meals out. Yes of course we need a three bedroom house a spare room is simply a must. Back to basics - there is plenty of time if two parents need to work when the children start school. Of course a little bit of old fashioned making do is required in the meantime.
Posted by: caspar, Christchurch on 10:11pm Fri 29 Aug 08
Sorry not quite sure why my post appears three times; obviously haven't got the hang of these machines.
Sorry not quite sure why my post appears three times; obviously haven't got the hang of these machines.
Posted by: laurie marsh, australia on 12:05am Sat 30 Aug 08
Bobbins 3.34,
Your "summary" is to say the least somewhat blurred!
Would you please point out where I said any of the words that you are trying to attribute to me!
The point that I am trying to make is that most litte kids need a parent to guide them through their early years!
Maybe it is just as well that your kids go to an institution to learn about life as with your grasp on what is even put in front of you appears to be somewhat tenuous!
I hope your kids have a happy life!
Bobbins 3.34,
Your "summary" is to say the least somewhat blurred!
Would you please point out where I said any of the words that you are trying to attribute to me!
The point that I am trying to make is that most litte kids need a parent to guide them through their early years!
Maybe it is just as well that your kids go to an institution to learn about life as with your grasp on what is even put in front of you appears to be somewhat tenuous!
I hope your kids have a happy life!
Posted by: bobbins, Christchurch on 7:13am Sat 30 Aug 08
In your 3:35 you were kind enough to point out that "problem children" are actually because they are "confused" which is evidently brought on by having to attend a nursery. Nurseries don't run 7 days a week you'll be shocked to learn. The children still have parents to guide them. I know it's a shock to you. Don't worry my kids are just fine. I'm just happy they won't turn out like you due to all their confusion.
In your 3:35 you were kind enough to point out that "problem children" are actually because they are "confused" which is evidently brought on by having to attend a nursery. Nurseries don't run 7 days a week you'll be shocked to learn. The children still have parents to guide them. I know it's a shock to you. Don't worry my kids are just fine. I'm just happy they won't turn out like you due to all their confusion.
Posted by: Maria, christchurch on 7:45am Sat 30 Aug 08
Bobbins I have to disagree with you. Okay so you say you have to work but surely you can understand what everyone else is saying. Yes times are tough but putting your child in a full time nursery at such a young age (as many did at this nursery) is not acceptable. I totaly agree you had the children you look after them. I have 3 children and I wouldn't have missed any of the time when they were little, we went without material things but my children never went without love or a PROPER family life. Even now I make sure I am in When they get home from School. Open your eyes and see what our next generation is turning into , we need to go back to a proper family life before it gets too out of hand.
Bobbins I have to disagree with you. Okay so you say you have to work but surely you can understand what everyone else is saying. Yes times are tough but putting your child in a full time nursery at such a young age (as many did at this nursery) is not acceptable. I totaly agree you had the children you look after them. I have 3 children and I wouldn't have missed any of the time when they were little, we went without material things but my children never went without love or a PROPER family life. Even now I make sure I am in When they get home from School. Open your eyes and see what our next generation is turning into , we need to go back to a proper family life before it gets too out of hand.
Posted by: Maria, christchurch on 7:49am Sat 30 Aug 08
[quote][bold]bobbins[/bold] wrote:
[quote][bold]Charlie[/bold] wrote:
Sorry, but I'm old fashioned. It's either a career or children. Children are a choice, not a right. Home with mum until the age of 3. One and half days at nursery from 3 to 5 to start formal learning and socialising. Then part-time work only while the children are at school until they are 16. If you can't afford to have children and stay at home - don't have them. There's no need for anyone to get pregnant accidentally nowadays. Got fed up when I was teaching, being told by working parents that it was [bold]MY[/bold] job to discipline their children because I was looking after them during the day while they both worked. One set of parents couldn't understand why their 13 year-old daughter got pregnant when she was at home during the day with her boyfriend during school holidays while both parents worked. Told me it was [bold]my[/bold] fault because the school taught sex edutation.[/quote] Are there any particular days that suit you better that the parents should work the 1 1/2 days on in your rigid plan. It also falls apart where you say they should work part time until they are 16, yet somehow the kids are at home getting pregnant whilst parents are at work. You just said that they should be working part time? Or does no child of a stay at home parent ever fall pregnant before 16? Where do you propose all thses part time jobs magically appear from? If you went and had a look you'll see that employers are offering less and less part time work as it costs more than using full time employees. "Then stay at home" will no doubt be your response, then we'll have you on here moaning about benefit scroungers and how pensions aren't enough because we're having to fund all these stay at home slobs etc. Maybe the solution is for all parents to take the traveller route in life, get to stay at home each day with the kids, we could all come and camp near some of your houses. I'm sure you'd allow it as its for the benefit of the kids after all?[/quote] Or maybe the solution would be don't have children if you can't afford them!
bobbins wrote:
Charlie wrote:
Sorry, but I'm old fashioned. It's either a career or children. Children are a choice, not a right. Home with mum until the age of 3. One and half days at nursery from 3 to 5 to start formal learning and socialising. Then part-time work only while the children are at school until they are 16. If you can't afford to have children and stay at home - don't have them. There's no need for anyone to get pregnant accidentally nowadays. Got fed up when I was teaching, being told by working parents that it was MY job to discipline their children because I was looking after them during the day while they both worked. One set of parents couldn't understand why their 13 year-old daughter got pregnant when she was at home during the day with her boyfriend during school holidays while both parents worked. Told me it was my fault because the school taught sex edutation.
Are there any particular days that suit you better that the parents should work the 1 1/2 days on in your rigid plan. It also falls apart where you say they should work part time until they are 16, yet somehow the kids are at home getting pregnant whilst parents are at work. You just said that they should be working part time? Or does no child of a stay at home parent ever fall pregnant before 16? Where do you propose all thses part time jobs magically appear from? If you went and had a look you'll see that employers are offering less and less part time work as it costs more than using full time employees. "Then stay at home" will no doubt be your response, then we'll have you on here moaning about benefit scroungers and how pensions aren't enough because we're having to fund all these stay at home slobs etc. Maybe the solution is for all parents to take the traveller route in life, get to stay at home each day with the kids, we could all come and camp near some of your houses. I'm sure you'd allow it as its for the benefit of the kids after all?
Or maybe the solution would be don't have children if you can't afford them!
Posted by: Charlie on 9:21am Sat 30 Aug 08
[bold]Or maybe the solution would be don't have children if you can't afford them![/bold]
Absolutely my point! It always used to be that way. As I said previously, having children is a choice, not a right. If parents didn't have children they couldn't afford, there wouldn't be "benefit scroungers" as you call them, bobbins.
If they choose to have children, parents can work at their own careers once the children have left school. The reason for high house prices and people in so much debt is because everyone now wants everything [bold]NOW[/bold] instead of having to work and save for it! It couldn't go on forever and now the economy is crumbling.
Or maybe the solution would be don't have children if you can't afford them!
Absolutely my point! It always used to be that way. As I said previously, having children is a choice, not a right. If parents didn't have children they couldn't afford, there wouldn't be "benefit scroungers" as you call them, bobbins.
If they choose to have children, parents can work at their own careers once the children have left school. The reason for high house prices and people in so much debt is because everyone now wants everything
NOW instead of having to work and save for it! It couldn't go on forever and now the economy is crumbling.
Posted by: fedupwithjobsworths, Moordown on 10:02am Sat 30 Aug 08
What some people forget is that parenting is the most important job in the world.
What some people forget is that parenting is the most important job in the world.
Posted by: Maria, christchurch on 10:05am Sat 30 Aug 08
Spot on Charlie.
Posted by: laurie marsh, australia on 3:32pm Sat 30 Aug 08
The only 2 creatures in the animal world that deposit their offspring in a stangers nest are cuckoos and (some) humans!
The only 2 creatures in the animal world that deposit their offspring in a stangers nest are cuckoos and (some) humans!
Posted by: laurie marsh, australia on 3:35pm Sat 30 Aug 08
No, that is too hard, I apologise!
Have a good life!
No, that is too hard, I apologise!
Have a good life!
Posted by: bobbins, Christchurch on 7:59pm Sat 30 Aug 08
[quote][bold]Maria[/bold] wrote:
Bobbins I have to disagree with you. Okay so you say you have to work but surely you can understand what everyone else is saying. Yes times are tough but putting your child in a full time nursery at such a young age (as many did at this nursery) is not acceptable. I totaly agree you had the children you look after them. I have 3 children and I wouldn't have missed any of the time when they were little, we went without material things but my children never went without love or a PROPER family life. Even now I make sure I am in When they get home from School. Open your eyes and see what our next generation is turning into , we need to go back to a proper family life before it gets too out of hand.[/quote] I don't read anywhere that it says that lots of them went full time. I know form the nurseries and pre-schools that we are such bad parents to use that I can't actually think of a single child in their full time. Yet there seems to be a thinking from the comments here that anyone putting a child in a nursery even for a few hours is evidently unfit to be a parent. If the current 'elder generation' is what we've to look forward to, maybe it's good we're having a cultural shift to remove the narrow minded culture that seems to exist in that generation.
Maria wrote:
Bobbins I have to disagree with you. Okay so you say you have to work but surely you can understand what everyone else is saying. Yes times are tough but putting your child in a full time nursery at such a young age (as many did at this nursery) is not acceptable. I totaly agree you had the children you look after them. I have 3 children and I wouldn't have missed any of the time when they were little, we went without material things but my children never went without love or a PROPER family life. Even now I make sure I am in When they get home from School. Open your eyes and see what our next generation is turning into , we need to go back to a proper family life before it gets too out of hand.
I don't read anywhere that it says that lots of them went full time. I know form the nurseries and pre-schools that we are such bad parents to use that I can't actually think of a single child in their full time. Yet there seems to be a thinking from the comments here that anyone putting a child in a nursery even for a few hours is evidently unfit to be a parent. If the current 'elder generation' is what we've to look forward to, maybe it's good we're having a cultural shift to remove the narrow minded culture that seems to exist in that generation.
Posted by: Maria, christchurch on 9:08am Sun 31 Aug 08
OH PLEASE, you actually like the current culture!. Just for the record I am 36 not really "elderly". Think you will find it's not narrow minded to want to nurture our own children rather than dumping the job on someone else.
OH PLEASE, you actually like the current culture!. Just for the record I am 36 not really "elderly". Think you will find it's not narrow minded to want to nurture our own children rather than dumping the job on someone else.
Posted by: Keffect, Christchurch on 8:37pm Sun 31 Aug 08
As a single parent who's son went to the above nursery. I would gladly love to stay at home full-time & look after him claim all the free benifits get you lot who are complaining to pay more taxes so I can get my rent paid ect & teach my son how to sponge of the system. But NO!!! I work 3 & 1/2 days week, don't smoke or drink have no social life & struggle to make ends meet. So come tell me to my face I'm a bad parent for putting him in care on the days I work.
As a single parent who's son went to the above nursery. I would gladly love to stay at home full-time & look after him claim all the free benifits get you lot who are complaining to pay more taxes so I can get my rent paid ect & teach my son how to sponge of the system. But NO!!! I work 3 & 1/2 days week, don't smoke or drink have no social life & struggle to make ends meet. So come tell me to my face I'm a bad parent for putting him in care on the days I work.
Posted by: Maria, christchurch on 6:53am Mon 1 Sep 08
Wonder how long it would be before the "single parent brigade" would pipe up". Sorry but you made your bed so you lie in it. Your right on one point though I would be complaining if you sponged off us tax payers, come to think of it who does pay your nursery fees, nice nursery grant paid by nice tax payers. All I'm saying is people should think before they have children, if you can't afford them don't have them. If you do don't complain about how hard life is as a single parent and try to justify putting uour child in a nursery when you should be looking after him.
Wonder how long it would be before the "single parent brigade" would pipe up". Sorry but you made your bed so you lie in it. Your right on one point though I would be complaining if you sponged off us tax payers, come to think of it who does pay your nursery fees, nice nursery grant paid by nice tax payers. All I'm saying is people should think before they have children, if you can't afford them don't have them. If you do don't complain about how hard life is as a single parent and try to justify putting uour child in a nursery when you should be looking after him.
Posted by: bobbins, Christchurch on 11:47am Mon 1 Sep 08
[quote]Sorry but you made your bed so you lie in it.[/quote]
I assume you are excluding people who are widowed from that sweeping generalisation?
[quote] Your right on one point though I would be complaining if you sponged off us tax payers, come to think of it who does pay your nursery fees, nice nursery grant paid by nice tax payers.[/quote]
If the children are in nursery then they are working and paying taxes the same as you, or did you forget that part?
Sorry but you made your bed so you lie in it.
I assume you are excluding people who are widowed from that sweeping generalisation?
Your right on one point though I would be complaining if you sponged off us tax payers, come to think of it who does pay your nursery fees, nice nursery grant paid by nice tax payers.
If the children are in nursery then they are working and paying taxes the same as you, or did you forget that part?
Posted by: marshmoss, Christchurch on 4:31pm Mon 1 Sep 08
Unbelievable, the ivory towers some people live in.
I really can't believe the narrow mindedness of a significant number of these posts. I sincerely hope that the sneering classes that populate this article get to experience a taste of the life some people have to lead.
Have a close look at family and friends and tell me if all your little worlds inhabitants are as perfect as you appear to be.
Unbelievable, the ivory towers some people live in.
I really can't believe the narrow mindedness of a significant number of these posts. I sincerely hope that the sneering classes that populate this article get to experience a taste of the life some people have to lead.
Have a close look at family and friends and tell me if all your little worlds inhabitants are as perfect as you appear to be.
Posted by: emmajane, Bournemouth on 2:05pm Tue 2 Sep 08
It is absolutely rediculous to say "you made your bed so lie in it" - funnily enough, alot of people do not CHOOSE to be single parents.
There are many different circumstances as to why someone is left to be a single parent so I think it is unbelievably narrow minded to say that it is always someone's choice.
If parents - be it one or two - stayed at home to look after their children, the next complaint would be that they are "sponging off benefits" !
There is really no winning here - if you stay at home or work to provide for your children.
How else is a single parent - and being that way through no fault of their own - suuposed to make money to put a roof over their child's head and food on their plate without claiming benefits ?
It's all too easy for people to pass judgement when they can stay at home with their children whilst their partner goes to work and earns the money.
I have the upmost respect for my mother continuing to work part time after my father left, and although we were not well off, in any respect, I never felt abandoned or unloved.
I know that if I am suddenly faced with the prospect of being a single parent, however fantastic it would be to stay at home full time, I will be able to provide my child with all the love in the world AND make some money to provide for him without feeling an ounce of guilt.
If you are a working, single parent you should feel proud of what you are doing and should not let anyone make you feel any different.
[bold]Good luck to all those affected by the closing of this nursery.[/bold]
It is absolutely rediculous to say "you made your bed so lie in it" - funnily enough, alot of people do not CHOOSE to be single parents.
There are many different circumstances as to why someone is left to be a single parent so I think it is unbelievably narrow minded to say that it is always someone's choice.
If parents - be it one or two - stayed at home to look after their children, the next complaint would be that they are "sponging off benefits" !
There is really no winning here - if you stay at home or work to provide for your children.
How else is a single parent - and being that way through no fault of their own - suuposed to make money to put a roof over their child's head and food on their plate without claiming benefits ?
It's all too easy for people to pass judgement when they can stay at home with their children whilst their partner goes to work and earns the money.
I have the upmost respect for my mother continuing to work part time after my father left, and although we were not well off, in any respect, I never felt abandoned or unloved.
I know that if I am suddenly faced with the prospect of being a single parent, however fantastic it would be to stay at home full time, I will be able to provide my child with all the love in the world AND make some money to provide for him without feeling an ounce of guilt.
If you are a working, single parent you should feel proud of what you are doing and should not let anyone make you feel any different.
Good luck to all those affected by the closing of this nursery. Posted by: Maria, christchurch on 5:02pm Tue 2 Sep 08
Oh please, am I supposed to feel sorry for the poor struggling single parent who finds life so hard, through no choice of their own, (ever heard of contraception). Again, no answer to my question as to why you have children if you can't afford them.
Oh please, am I supposed to feel sorry for the poor struggling single parent who finds life so hard, through no choice of their own, (ever heard of contraception). Again, no answer to my question as to why you have children if you can't afford them.
Posted by: Maria, christchurch on 5:08pm Tue 2 Sep 08
[quote][bold]bobbins[/bold] wrote:
[quote]Sorry but you made your bed so you lie in it.[/quote]
I assume you are excluding people who are widowed from that sweeping generalisation?
[quote] Your right on one point though I would be complaining if you sponged off us tax payers, come to think of it who does pay your nursery fees, nice nursery grant paid by nice tax payers.[/quote]
If the children are in nursery then they are working and paying taxes the same as you, or did you forget that part?[/quote] Thats what insurance is for, if you are grown up enough to start a family surely you should be grown up enough to take out insurances like, life cover, sickness cover, critical illness etc. There really is no argument about single mothers having to work through no choice of their own.
bobbins wrote:
Sorry but you made your bed so you lie in it.
I assume you are excluding people who are widowed from that sweeping generalisation?
Your right on one point though I would be complaining if you sponged off us tax payers, come to think of it who does pay your nursery fees, nice nursery grant paid by nice tax payers.
If the children are in nursery then they are working and paying taxes the same as you, or did you forget that part?
Thats what insurance is for, if you are grown up enough to start a family surely you should be grown up enough to take out insurances like, life cover, sickness cover, critical illness etc. There really is no argument about single mothers having to work through no choice of their own.
Posted by: smiler, bournemouth on 11:22am Wed 3 Sep 08
[quote][bold]Maria[/bold] wrote:
[quote][bold]bobbins[/bold] wrote: [quote]Sorry but you made your bed so you lie in it.[/quote] I assume you are excluding people who are widowed from that sweeping generalisation? [quote] Your right on one point though I would be complaining if you sponged off us tax payers, come to think of it who does pay your nursery fees, nice nursery grant paid by nice tax payers.[/quote] If the children are in nursery then they are working and paying taxes the same as you, or did you forget that part?[/quote] Thats what insurance is for, if you are grown up enough to start a family surely you should be grown up enough to take out insurances like, life cover, sickness cover, critical illness etc. There really is no argument about single mothers having to work through no choice of their own.[/quote] Exactly. If you are a single parent through being widowed, then surely life insurances etc.. pay out! If you dont bother to have these policies then you cant really blame society and expect the taxpayers to pay for the childcare that is ultimately your job.
Maria wrote:
bobbins wrote: Sorry but you made your bed so you lie in it.
I assume you are excluding people who are widowed from that sweeping generalisation? Your right on one point though I would be complaining if you sponged off us tax payers, come to think of it who does pay your nursery fees, nice nursery grant paid by nice tax payers.
If the children are in nursery then they are working and paying taxes the same as you, or did you forget that part?
Thats what insurance is for, if you are grown up enough to start a family surely you should be grown up enough to take out insurances like, life cover, sickness cover, critical illness etc. There really is no argument about single mothers having to work through no choice of their own.
Exactly. If you are a single parent through being widowed, then surely life insurances etc.. pay out! If you dont bother to have these policies then you cant really blame society and expect the taxpayers to pay for the childcare that is ultimately your job.
Posted by: emmajane, Bournemouth on 1:59pm Thu 4 Sep 08
[quote]Oh please, am I supposed to feel sorry for the poor struggling single parent who finds life so hard, through no choice of their own, (ever heard of contraception). Again, no answer to my question as to why you have children if you can't afford them.[/quote]
What about people who are happily married, financialy comfortable and have children and everything is going swimmingly, then one of the parents leave the other to look after their child on their own ??
I honestly don't understand how people can have just one opinion and refuse to take into account all the different circumstances !
It's utterly rediculous.
Oh please, am I supposed to feel sorry for the poor struggling single parent who finds life so hard, through no choice of their own, (ever heard of contraception). Again, no answer to my question as to why you have children if you can't afford them.
What about people who are happily married, financialy comfortable and have children and everything is going swimmingly, then one of the parents leave the other to look after their child on their own ??
I honestly don't understand how people can have just one opinion and refuse to take into account all the different circumstances !
It's utterly rediculous.
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